The "Fs" Just Keep Coming!

When I started blogging and decided to name my blog "Faith, Family, Fitness & Fun" it was kind of an accident that everything started with an F and I thought, "how cute, since my name starts with an F. Since then it seems "F" words (the nice kind) seem to be popping out at me screaming, "PICK ME, PICK ME!!) This time it happened during Sunday School Class. This morning the subject of Forgiveness came up and we had a nice discussion about it. Everyone agreed that while it is the right thing to do, it is so hard to actually do it!

All of us have come face to face with the need to forgive someone. To deny that would be to deny that we are human. Sometimes it is just a little offense that we need to forgive and that is easy. Other times, it is something huge and it takes a lot of time and tons of prayer to get there. The hardest thing, I think, to forgive is when the person you need to forgive refuses to admit that he or she has done anything wrong and thereby doesn't feel any need to be forgiven. That happened to me once. Some "friends" hurt someone I love very deeply and never acted remotely sorry for it let alone ask for forgiveness.

I think it is harder to forgive people when they hurt someone you love even more than when they hurt you. We hurt when our love ones hurt. When I was going through this I was often time put in situations where I was face to face with the people who hurt us. I would almost get sick to my stomach just trying to be civil and the hurt and anger was eating away at me like rust on tin. It got so hard to deal with that I turned to my pastor and he gave me some very good "scriptural" advice. He pointed out that if I let myself dwell on the hurt and anger it would only get worse. He said I needed to focus on good things when those bad thoughts took over in my mind. He pointed me to a scripture that would eventually set me free. It was Philipians 4:8:
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. (NIV)

This very wise pastor made me realize that it was much better for me to think about these good things than to dwell on the bad ones that were consuming me and making me miserable. He told me that if I could focus on good things, even something good about those who hurt me, then eventually my feelings would get better. Ha!, I thought to myself, this would never happen. But, he was right and it did.

I also read a book about that same time and it was titled, "Forgive & Forget, Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve" written by Lewis Smedes.* It has an introductory story called "The Magic Eyes, A Little Fable" that made a huge impact on me. It tells the story of a baker named Fouke who was a righteous man. "Fouke was so upright that he seemed to spray righteousness from his thin lips over everyone who came near him: so the people of Faken preferred to stay away." Hilda, his little round wife was just the opposite from him, being warm and friendly. She loved Fouke but "her heart ached for something more from him than his worthy righteousness." The story continues when Fouke comes home one day to find Hilda lying with another man. Fouke, being so righteous, kept her as his wife, much to the surprise of the town. He was quick to say that he forgave her "as the Good Book said he should." Truth was though, he only pretended to forgive her so that he could "punish her with his righteous mercy." The fable continues by telling how every time Fouke would feel his hate an angel would come down and drop a small pebble into his heart. Eventually, as the pebbles multiplied, his heart grew so heavy that he could no long stand up straight and he was so bent he had to strain his neck up in order to look straight ahead. When he was in so much pain he could hardly stand it the angel came to him and told him that in order to be rid of his weight he would have to have "magic eyes." He would have to begin to see his wife, not as the one who betrayed him, but as a woman who needed him. The angel told the doubting Fouke that he could only get those magic eyes by asking and sincerely wanting those magic eyes. A pebble would be removed each time he was able to see her through his magic eyes and eventually "Hilda began to change in front of Fouke's eyes, wonderfully and mysteriously." He was miraculously able to love her again and they lived happily ever after! (I love those kind of endings, don't you?)

This story touched my heart and made me realize that my unforgiveness was weighing me down and stealing the joy from my heart and life. Along with the wise advice from my dear pastor and reading this book, I was able to "get rid of all those pebbles at last. Most surprising though was that I actually learned to love those people again! GOD IS SO GOOD AND SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AMAZING!

Jesus taught us in the Lord's Prayer to ask for forgiveness based on the way we forgive others. That should motivate us to Forgive!

Until next time, grow in your Faith, have Fun with your Family, work on your spiritual and physical Fitness and Forgive someone who has offended you.

*Forgive & Forget,Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve, by Lewis B. Smedes
Harper & Row, copyright 1984